The one when i always want to say no.

dear Monday,

Sorry I haven’t wrote to you in many months, hope you don’t hate me. I felt the inspiration come back not to long ago, so here I am, writing to you again. I want to talk about anxiety, mostly about the horrifying need of always saying no. I’m not the most social person, far from it really. When I get ask if I want to go out, do something, my first answer will be yes. Sure, I want to go out. Sure, lets do something. Why not. That’s what normal people do. They go out, have fun, enjoy life. But something usually happens in my brain between the moment I say yes and the time of the activity. I change my mind. I don’t want to go out, I don’t want to see people. I freak out for nothing. I want to hide. I want to say no. Sometimes I find an excuse, get myself out of this situation…and sometimes I can’t get out of the situation. I get more and more anxious until the moment I meet up with the people and than….nothing happens. It’s fine. It’s fun. I enjoy myself more than expected.

So, Monday, why do I keep wanting to say no?

Yours truly,
Sarah.

PS. Here’s a picture of my Friday night. The one I so wanted to say no to this week. I’m glad I didn’t because I would have miss this glorious food :

 

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